On Dreaming BIG

I always wanted to be something in life. Well,who doesn’t? But out of a 100 dreams, how many actually get fulfilled are probably not even a handful. I’ve always  wanted that ‘something which I want’ to be extraordinary. Nothing, like the people surrounding me,nothing like my peers, nothing that is within the reach of every second person.

The first incident I recall of wanting something different dates back to the early days of my first year at school when i was probably 4 or 5 years old.

Everytime I used to walk into the school building, I used to look with wide open-observant eyes at the bulletin board which had pictures of around 15 students. They had been pinned to a background of a ship with around 3-4 floors. On they very top of this ship was the picture of a really pretty girl with blue eyes and a smile that showed the empty spaces where the two incisors should have been but nevertheless the girl looked beautiful.

Well, this incident isn’t about that pretty girl but about the promise that I made to myself. It might sound funny, but that day I pledged that no matter what, how difficult it might be, I would do all it took to replace my photo with her’s at that very spot.

And guess what, I DID make it, to that very spot and was reffered to as the Leader of the Junior School.

I was happy,elated,content and felt like the biggest success story ever. I felt good about myself as an individual having the potential to get what I wished for.

Dreams could turn into reality back then- so why not now?

I’m still the same person at heart and always will be. Thus, nothing is difficult if you put your heart and soul into it.The only thing that you have to do is :



My teens on the edge

I think I might be in love. Maybe. Maybe not but nevertheless, I’m outrageously attracted and infatuated for now. Maybe it has something to do with his huge doe shaped hazel eyes which twinkle with delight at the very sight of me or his little nose. And how can I forget his long body, which reminds me of those sumptuous hot dogs which mum used to make when I was little, his voice, ah!  His purring, is anything but cute and that forever wagging tail of his is one thing that can always make me smile. ALWAYS! Have you ever heard of inner happiness, contentment, joy? Well those things are what I feel while sitting next to him and patting him on his soft brown coat. This is where I always want to be, right next to him, stroking him and hugging him close to myself so that he doesn’t feel cold in this frigid climate. I’m sure this is love, that true eternal love which Shakespeare and Blake talk about.  
I’m ashamed at myself, at my behaviour or more specifically misbehaviour. How could I have even thought of doing something so bad  to Frank.
It all began 2 months back on my then-bff Ziya’s birthday. It was the 23rd of August and the memory is still fresh in my head. Well why won’t it be, that day changed me or should I say brought me back to my senses after a very long period of being recklessness.
Both of us along with 5 more friends of ours had gone to a disco. I know that’s not a big thing but maybe if you knew that we were in class 10th you’d feel a bit shocked and if I told you about our fake id’s you’d have your mouths hanging open a little larger. All this was normal for us, this was the way we lived our life- young,wild and free. Like all parties Ziya was as ever the crazy hot girl dancing in a carefree manner in the middle of the dance floor. Not that all of us weren’t having fun but well for Z, it was always melodramatic-extreme-insane enjoyment. That day things went beyond every body’s control. All of us got drunk. No, drunk is an understatement- we were HIGH. Intoxicated way beyond the usual. The last thing I remember was slapping anybody and everybody like a lunatic. After that my memory is pretty blurred. The next thing that I actually do remember is standing outside my house’s gate staring hard at the 4 doors instead of 1 in front of me, trying to figure out which one to choose. That moment was worse than what happened with Alice when she was all alone trying to find her way in wonderland. I felt like pulling at my hair and puke my guts out. I turned around to see a car speeding away at practically 180km per hour. It wasn’t just another car, it was Ziya’s Merc, that black car with the 1211 plate was something that I could recognise even in my dreams. 
I turned around to see that the door was open now, on walking inside I came face to face with my mother who on looking at my drunken state slapped me hard, not once, not twice but around 10 times, I lost count after that. She walked back into the house locking the door after her, leaving me standing in the middle of the garden silently crying with a face smudged with kohl because of the continuous waterfall of tears.
Then I did something that I regret from that day and will regret up till I die, I searched through my cross body bag and found my blackberry and called up my mother, she picked up on the second ring and said nothing, I could hear her sniffing, probably holding back tears but all this was trivial to me, in a single breath I blurted out all of the abuses I know and instead of scolding me,threatening me,asking me to leave the house or coming outside and thrashing me for my ill-manners, she very calmly said “You are the worst daughter anybody could ever have,you have no respect for your parents and never listen to what they tell you to do, that little pup in the kennel is more responsive and loyal than you”.
 Hearing this, I cut the phone and ran towards frank, that little nonsensical brat that my parents loved more than me. I slapped him, beat him with a stick, threw whatever I could find from flower pots to the small showpieces. I hated him because my my mother preferred him to me, she thought he was more obedient, more responsive, more loyal. How could she have possibly compared me to a stupid animal that could not even speak.  He had started crying and purring in pain by then. He was hurt, and I couldn’t be more glad. Mum came outside on hearing his whimpering and came face to face with me, I ended up puking on her feet. She took him into her arms, and quickly drove away,  not even saying a single word to me, so I ran inside and up the stairs to my room, shut the door and wept like a maniac into my pillow, my only companion. I didn’t even know when I fell asleep, I awoke the next morning, it was almost noon and my parents were sitting on my bedside, whispering.
 On seeing me awake, my father said ” I don’t have much to say to you, so don’t think I’ve come to give you a lecture. If you’re old enough to booze, I think you’re old enough to chose between right and wrong. Your mother and I have decided that we won’t say a word to you. You’re big enough to make your own decisions”. Saying this he walked away, leaving behind a credit card with my name on it. Unlike normal people, his words didn’t inspire me but in actual they hurt me like a thousand thorns, slowly but painfully. I decided that it was time to retaliate and retaliate is what I did. I bathed,dressed up and went out to have a few glasses of beer. I called up Ziya and asked her to come as well, while sitting there and sipping beer I told her about everything and she sympathised  with me, she then called up one of her drug dealers and told him we needed a bit of stash. He told her that he would be there in a jiffy, and she gave him our location. This was new to me, Z told me to chill and enjoy the comforts and luxuries of life with my newly acquired credit card or in her words, the best lifeline ever. That day was wonderful and so were the 2 weeks that followed, filled with enjoyment,getting drunk,smoking pot and dancing till our feet hurt. I’d started ordering a lot of drugs, and hiding the packets at home or in other words I was addicted. 

But after a week of getting stash home, I realised that my packets were going missing. I was scared that my parents had found them and feeling helpless, I started searching for them. It was after two days that I saw that frank was burying something in the ground which looked a lot like my packets. On closer observation, I discovered that my doubt was true and it was my packet. I was angry, outrageously enraged in fact. But then my mind went into flashback, I remembered the times I used to eat excessive amount of chillies and how frank, then a little pup used to hide them. He was one whom I could count on when I dad used to scold me or when mum was upset with my marks. He used to greet me with a wagging tail every time I came home after an exasperating and exhausting day in school. He was the anchor that used to stop my ship like life from sinking in the middle of the chaotic ocean like life. And that was the day that I chose between the glamorous life and frank. And I bet you must have guessed my choice.


I wrote this short story a few months ago for a competition and am still awaiting eagerly awating for the  result.It’s purely fictitious. 🙂Image


Walk in my shoes or Maybe tumble in my heels:



A friend of mine turned 16, a day before Valentines Day and since it was her sweet 16, we all got a chance to dress up and go to prom. Yes, the theme was prom. A bizzare idea but one to fall in love with nevertheless and since Im going to turn 16 in 2 weeks from now I decided to practice walking in heels before I wore them for my birthday. So basically, yesterday was the first day I felt 6 inches higher. But events took such a hair pin bend turn that the ground couldn’t handle my increase in stature, so it begged me to lie on it by falling down while dancing away to Gangnam style. What was more amazing than having my first fall in heels was the second, third and forth time. And everytime I got up I grinned away to glory. Coming down to think of it, it was all the dj’s fault for playing music that had so many memories attached that I felt disoriented.It was all because of him, the beats and the fab atmosphere that I ended up getting a joke made out of myself.

Somebody I look up to once said that ‘With great power comes great responsibility’ but after yesterday’s epic falls I would say, ‘with great height comes not only a great fall but 3 more.’

But nevertheless I had a great evening, which I probably won’t ever forget.
Happy V day to all of you!

Fiction:) | Influence~

Ive read so much fiction that my brain has started functioning in the most unrealistic way. My unreal thoughts have reached a level that I probably can’t even differentiate between life and my wonderland. If I hear about an incident, I have the weirdest and most unbelievable thoughts about it. It’s almost as though I’m in one of those mystery shows that come or tv or my thoughts are greatly inspired by the Agatha Christie,Dan brown,John Grisham obsession. Somebody would call me gifted for being so imaginative and innovative, but I don’t agree. I feel as though I’m lost in a far away land and can’t find my way back. Each thing is a game to me, people are objects to manipulate and my thoughts are processed twice in the most unbelievable way before the words are spoken out. It’s almost as though I’ve turned into an abnormal creature who no longer has a conscience and goes with the combined flow of the heart and the brain.
Pisces. xx

Oil Conservation: My Role in Promotion


The young twinkling eyes ready to gulp down information, excited to learn new things, ever ready to expand their horizons with thoughts overflowing out of their head and a mind ready to be moulded so that one day they become successful and happy individuals. 
These are the generation of tomorrow, who can not only make a difference but bring about a revolution, bring about CHANGE. 
For a layman, the definition of oil might be the thing that makes his vehicle run, the liquid that makes it feasible for food to be cooked or the substance that makes the door hinges stop from making squeaky noises but there are only a few people who think of oil as an inflammable and vicious substance that takes millions of years to be replenished and out of those few there are only a handful who realize that oil is being exploited a lot more than revived.
The need of the hour calls for awareness and  people need to be made to understand that oil is a basic resource and needs to be conserved for times to come as everything will come to a standstill if it no longer exists. And I, as a young concerned Indian citizen, can play an extremely influential role in the promotion of oil conservation by adopting various methods.

 These methods can be something as trivial as starting a carpool with my friends in the neighbourhood or using public means of transport so that fuel isn’t wasted unnecessarily. Not everyone can afford or has the kind of surrounding to buy a hybrid, but those who have the resources and the environment should definitely invest in one as they are one of the best investments that anybody can make. Something that is even better than a hybrid is cycling. It has many boons such as the fact that it keeps us healthy, fit and is one of those exercises that make our stress levels fall. But most importantly it is a great way of saving oil .In fact for that matter we have been given two feet, so why can’t we cover short distances by walking. Another thing that I would like to put forward is the car mania. Today, the day a child turns eighteen, they feel that it’s automatically time for them to get a driving license made and get their personal vehicle but they don’t understand that they have no right to waste oil and turning eighteen does not make them legible for wasting such an important resource and I as a student can bring forward my point of view amongst my friends and acquaintances. Also, at the same time I can take the initiative of not travelling in private motor vehicles except when it is absolutely required. And even if you do purchase a motor vehicle and use it, you should definitely ensure that you drive slow and have a moderate speed. Also it is highly important to perform regular maintenance on your car. Each five miles per hour you drive over 60 mph is like paying an additional ten rupees per gallon of gas. So drive the speed limit—cruise control can help in this effort. Also, keeping tires properly inflated can improve gas mileage by about 3.3 percent.   Many drivers will wait on a long line to save fifteen rupees per gallon, but properly inflating tires and obeying the speed limit will realize such savings and take less time.
The breakthroughs in engine design and efficient motors can definitely reduce gasoline usage to a great extent. Electric cars are still a long way from a workable solution because it is never mentioned where the electricity comes from that is oil and coal power plants but they too can definitely made better and better. Coming down to apparels, one should always invest in clothes that are made out of natural fabrics like cotton instead of those that are made of synthetic or polyester as they are a by-product of oil and are not skin-friendly, often causing allergies.  

Even involvement in politics is a very good way of saving oil. Everybody can have public demonstrations, rallies, non-cooperation movements but not everyone is smart enough to support that political party which has the best green policies so that fossil fuels such as oil are saved and alternative sources of energy are brought under usage. These political leaders are accountable to everybody, even someone as small and unimportant as me and thus need to justify their actions.
Through media I can make an impression on the public by writing articles on conservation of oil for newspapers, magazines or even write a book about the same. Another interesting method is through having famous personalities and celebrities to support the cause as they have a huge fan following who idolize them. But to do this a lot of effort needs to be put in to reach these people but where there is will, there is always a way!

Coal is perhaps the most feasible substitute to oil, and that is what countries like the United States, China and India are looking to explore soon. Saudi Arabia and Russia are two of the major producers of oil or petroleum. The consumption of oil in India and USA are almost thrice the production and for India this can be accredited to overpopulation without any shilly-shallying. Taken as a whole, the world’s consumption of energy at the moment is huge and the ever growing demand is least likely to be fulfilled, moreover the production falls short of the consumption.
It is believed that the poverty stricken who already have no access to energy and the millionaires are the two factions of people who will not actually suffer. This is actually true as the rich have direct control over the resources and the poor have not had a chance to experience them and become dependent on them. It’s the common man and the middle class who will find themselves in the epicentre of the war for oil.
Something that has a lot of potential is the development of alternative sources of energy and alternative fuels that can meet our growing needs and can actually be our saviour but only if they are developed soon so that they can prevents this exigency from getting out of control. These are just not solar and wind energy which are too inefficient to be more than a feel good solution presently but safe nuclear fusion utilizing thorium. There are various other solutions that need to come from the best thinkers amongst the working youth and this kind of beneficial, problem-solution oriented thinking with thorough fact-checked solutions is the thing that can make a difference as the younger adults  have fresh ideas that will make them the pioneers of tomorrow once they are brought under utility. 
In a country like India, the oil resources are extremely less and 80% of what we use is actually from the oil wells in the gulf countries where the reserves are slowly and steadily diminishing. If we stop to ponder upon all this we will realize that oil is slowly slipping away and we need to stop its wastage from now if we don’t want it to become a myth like dinosaurs. It’s an interesting fact that The United States currently consumes twenty one million barrels of oil per day, nearly twenty five percent of total worldwide consumption.  Thus, if supply of oil does drop, only a drastic reduction in U.S. demand can avert a shortfall. This basically means that if supply of oil decreases there will definitely be an extreme rise in the cost of oil all around the globe.
Generators are switched on the moment there is no supply of electricity, and a lot of oil is wasted in their utilization. Oil can thus be saved at a personal level by the replacement of standard incandescent light bulbs with compact florescent light bulb. This simple change can save an estimated 75 percent in lighting costs and also indirectly save oil. Unplugging of electronics such as stereos, televisions, computers and kitchen appliances when they are not in use is also an efficient way of saving energy. Also on should insure that they buy only energy star appliances, which use less energy. In a typical home, appliances and home electronics are responsible for about 20 percent of the utility bill. And the lesser the electricity used, the lesser the wastage of oil. It’s as though the two go hand in hard. Another example of wastage within the four walls of a home would be saving on the 90 percent of energy which is used for washing clothes in hot water. Washing clothes in cold water and drying full loads also using appropriate settings for smaller loads and considering air-drying clothes instead of using the dryer are a sure shot measure to save on electricity and the directly proportional oil. Dry cleaning of clothes is done with petrol and this petrol can be saved by washing the clothes that read washable as petrol too is a limited fuel with unlimited usage. There is a lot more that we can do to save oil in our houses as the maximum consumption or in other words wastage is done in our own households. The Heating and cooling of appliances alone can cause 45 percent of most utility bills. We can save oil in this as well by setting the thermostat as low as is comfortable in the winter and as high as is comfortable in the summer, and invest in a programmable thermostat so that energy is not wasted when the house is unoccupied.
Outside the four walls of the house or to be more particular, in the garden or green area outside the living area of the house proper landscaping is advisable and everybody from someone like me to people who are elderly can look into the same. Planting trees near the house provides shade and can lower cooling costs in summer months. Shrubs, bushes and vines can also provide insulation. Landscaping for energy efficiency can provide enough energy savings to return the original investment within eight years – sooner if oil prices skyrocket which they will with the kind of consumption that is being carrying out presently. I too have adopted this and am sure that this will bring me great results in the near future.
Some of the suggestions require upfront investment, which will be paid back through consequent energy savings.  The higher oil prices go, the quicker the payback.  And the cost of things like hybrid cars, energy efficient appliances, and alternative energy appliances will be much higher because demand will climb and supplies may become severely limited, with long waiting lists.
But on the flipside of the coin, on any given day petroleum cannot be perfectly replaced with a substitute considering the efficiency of oil, and this is the biggest reason behind why we need to conserve it. We can only be hopeful and optimistic that some other source of energy in the years to come can be deemed fit to serve the world as resourcefully as petroleum. Till then the best efforts to conserve oil should be put in.
Coming back to the main point, oil can be conserved and not only I, but every single person can contribute in its conservation by taking up these various measures. It might be a finite resource but together we can work towards making it an infinite resource for the generations to come. We need to conserve it because it’s now or never otherwise we will end up finding ourselves in a situation where people can be found fighting for each drop and turning into killers at the cost of their humanity for that one last cup of oil just like the recent happenings in Libya had more to do with control over the rich oil resources that the country has than the overthrow of the regime.I would like to conclude by quoting the Great Mahatma Gandhi, “There is enough for everybody’s need but not enough for everybody’s greed.” 


Everyone has a point of view.
Some people call it style,
But what we’re really talking about
Is the guts of a photograph.
When you trust your point of view, that’s when you start taking pictures
-Annie Leibovitz

There are books that leave a mark on you.You finish them but in your head they are always fresh as though the incident happened with you a minute ago.
Exposed by Kimberly Marcus is one of those heart piercing stories which tears you into pieces and at the same time gives you courage to stop tears from rolling down your cheeks.
I’m not that big a fan of poetry but this book was a ballad which has impacted and influenced me to insane limits.
It deals with the trauma that 16 year old, Liz is facing on having to chose between her best friend since and for ever and her brother whom she is connected with by blood.
Being a passionate photographer she sees life through her camera as she tries to focus on the good times, zoom out of the bad, zoom into the minimal happy elements left and replay the slideshow of her entire life to make the toughest choice she will ever have to make.
It is a must read for all those who believe that life is not black and white but has shades of grey.

Failures are stepping stones to success ✌✌

Every time we fall,it takes courage to stand up and face the world again.Every time we lose something, it takes courage to create it again.Every time we lose somebody,it takes courage to get over them.But every time we find ourselves lost, it takes hope to reach or the moon.

Hola everybody! I bet that all of you reading this post today must have had your fair share of highs and lows in life, there must have been times when there was no ray of hope left and you wanted to give up on life and quit trying, when you were distressed ,depressed and felt deserted.

You’re sitting in front of your respective screens and reading this post today, because you my friend faced your fears over and over again.Like the Wright brothers and Thomas Alva Edison. One gave us flight while the other gave us flight. These people were just like you and me, the only difference being their belief in I-M-POSSIBLE rather than IMPOSSIBLE.

My fellow Indians,we really do have a rich history. The freedom struggle began in 1857 and we finally attained independence in 1947. So many years and it was all worth the strife.

To talk about something more recent, the famous blade runner of South Africa ran the 400meters relay for his country a few days back in the London Olympics. He even qualified for the finals although he was handicapped. If a man without legs can run faster than the 7 billion people in the world, why can’t our mind towards optimism and positivity? Why can’t we with our our determination, patience, perseverance and belief in oneself turn impossible into possible!?